Stranger

“Have you been to the Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park? Isn’t it just awesome? The German sausages, the mulled wine, the Belgian waffles – aww just beautiful,”  I remarked, recollecting fond memories of the place I’ve grown to love this one month.

That’s how I began to engage in a conversation with my driver, on an otherwise very boring journey to the airport. As he eased up, he showed me a photo that he took with Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear as he ferried the celebrities from BBC, a list which included the famed David Attenborough. “Does he talk like the way he does on those wildlife documentary??” “Yea, exactly the same.”

We chatted about a lot of things – black cabs, speed cameras in Oxford Circus, the harsh winter and how I helped the homeless while I was in London. A lovely conversation, I thought. Though I didn’t have to since the ride was prepaid by my company (especially when the smallest note I had was a ten), I insisted on tipping him. He looked like a nice man, and one with many mouths to feed.

*****

Europe has won my heart not just because of the picturesque scenery and towns. Being a stranger in a foreign land has also shown me the beauty of the European culture – the hospitality, the ease of engaging in a conversation with a total stranger, the willingness to always lend a helping hand.

I get pretty lost from time to time (a topic for the next blog post!), especially with all the French names and unpronounceable Oxford English street names (go find out how Gloucester Road and Leicester Square are pronounced). But I have found that the folks around are ever ready to show you around, strike a conversation or just offer a smile.

Just merely asking to find out which station I was at, a Parisian woman went the extra mile, whipping out a subway map and planning out my journey, making sure I changed at the right stops to get to my hotel near the Lourve. The Englishman beside me on the bus back to the UK from Paris described all the most beautiful cities in Europe, urged me to go up to Scotland and recounted his trip to the US – a fellow tour member was turned back at the US customs for replying the officer in jest that his purpose in the US was “here to shoot the President”. “He was SUCH an idiot,” he quipped.

The Dutch dude sitting next to me in the Eurostar advised me on all the places to visit while I was in Amsterdam, cautioning me to avoid the magic mushrooms. “Most Dutch have never tried anyway,” he mused. When I took the wrong connecting train in Amsterdam (lost again!), a lady by the station offered to take a ride with me to the next interchange so I could get to my stay in Zaandam.

Hospitality starts with a simple gesture – striking up a conversation with a fellow commuter, be it in an elevator, in a train/bus/plane, in a queue, or maybe jus going the extra mile to make sure a stranger is well taken care of in your country. I realize in Asia we often tend to draw very clear boundaries, often dismissing strangers with a short reply, or being very guarded and wary and sticking to our own comfort zone. Sometimes we are overly “purposeful” in dealing with relationships – there must be a purpose to everything I do within the confines of this relationship. “I’m doing this because I want to win this person over.” “What’s the point of speaking so much to someone you don’t know? I won’t get to see him again.”

Such thinking leaves little room for casual conversations or building new relationships. Everything becomes so “planned” it loses the magic of spontaneity. While it may be true that we will never see the person ever again, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Hospitality is enshrined in showing kindness when one least expects. If you recall the stories of kindness in the Bible, you’d realize that few are pre-meditated. Just think: the good Samaritan stumbling upon the injured man by the road, the innkeeper who showed the unexpected guests, Joseph and Mary, to the stable, the couple who let Elisha stay at their house, the little boy who offered his lunch of five loaves and two fish. None of these acts were pre-meditated. Yet we are so obsessed with planning charity events or going to old folks home, not realizing that the capacity to show hospitality passes by us everyday on the street.

*****

Unloading my heavy luggage from the trunk I bade farewell to this total stranger, and he drove eagerly towards home where dinner was waiting for him. But within seconds, I realized that my briefcase was still in the car! My passport, my laptops, my travel documents were all there. I chased the car as the tail-lights fade away, and it was too late. 

Instantly, pandemonium struck all crevices of my mind. What am I to do? I had written down the driver’s number, but it was in my briefcase! Neither do I have the office number. Thoughts of being stuck in cold wintry London were less than pretty. No one could help me. I stood there in the carpark where he had alighted me. I was miserable. All alone in the cold. Panicking. Hoping that somehow something would happen.

Ten minutes passed in the bitter cold. And I saw this car swinging back into the carpark lot. The driver looked familiar. It was my man. He came back for me.  At that moment, I don’t think I have ever been more overjoyed. Now I know how it feels for the lost to be found.

I burst out in gratitude and thanked him. “I was so worried for you,” he exclaimed. “You’re such a nice guy I just had to turn back for you. All I knew was that you were heading back to Singapore and I was all ready to run into the airport to look for you!”

*****

I recalled a quote I tweeted some time back - it’s nice to be important but it's more important to be nice. Just because someone is paid to serve you – the waiter, the chauffeur, the salesperson, doesn’t mean that you can’t be nice to them. I never knew how crucial that tip and that conversation was until now.

Europe really honors her strangers. A stranger in a foreign land cannot feel more welcome here. How are you treating strangers today? In your workplace, in your cell group, in your church, in your life?

Hospitality/kindness – give and given when you least expect it. One act of kindness begets another. What goes around comes around.

Noah saved the world with the ark, we too can make a difference to the world through the ARK – one Act of Random Kindness at a time.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by showing hospitality some have had angels as their guests without being aware of it.” – Hebrews 13:2